LADIES, this one is for you.
Don’t settle. Please don’t settle. To settle for someone that doesn’t deserve you is to do a complete injustice to yourself and an injustice to God, the one who created you perfect in His image, the one who created you specifically for another person that probably isn’t the boy you are chasing after at the moment. And I will tell you why…
1- If you find yourself having to basically beg for their attention, beg for their time to hang out with you, then it is time for you to leave. The relationship you are pursuing with that person is already in the wrong direction because most of us forget that YOU are the prize. If a boy is worth your time he will realize that and be pursuing you, not the other way around. He will want to give you his time, he will want to get to know you personally, and he will want to give you his attention. (his attention that should not be divided amongst 3 other girls at the same time)
2- A boy worth your time will get to know you. Let me clarify… getting to know you does not mean getting to know your body. If they are worth your time that will not be an expectation and that should not even be apart of their mindset if they genuinely care about you. They should know your heart, your fears, your dreams and desires, and your goals in life. The little things are so important because it’s a whole bunch of little things that make up a person. They should know your coffee order and what your favorite meal is. Your quirks and your pet peeves. Pay attention to the questions they are asking you, it will be your first signs of what they care about and what their intentions are.
3- Today’s world has taken the purity and intentionality out of DATING. Dating is now “talking”… and to be completely blunt, no one knows what the heck “talking” even means. Ask around to a few people and I guarantee each one of them will have a different definition. Everyone is afraid of commitment… and sometimes it is for reasons like you don’t want your heart broken again. But more times than not I’ve realized people are scared of commitment because they are scared to lose the attention of others. They actually have the responsibility of someone else’s heart now and unfortunately it is hard for some people to actually care about someone other than themselves.
A boy worth your time is worth the wait.
I’ve told this to so many people and will continue to stand by the idea that a boy does not truly know how to love you the way you deserve unless they know AND have experienced the love of Christ for themselves.
However, this goes both ways. As easy as it is to put all the blame on the boys, girls are just as much at fault. Including me. It is up to us to know our worth, have expectations, and to not settle for anything less than what God tells us we deserve.
Relationships are not something to be taken lightly. I have learned countless amounts of lessons from past relationships and continue to learn and grow in my current one. One specific realization that changed everything for me was that as women, if we are searching for a relationship and long for our “soul mate” then it is our responsibility to prepare our hearts for that person. Keep the mindset that when you are chasing after God as hard as you can, he will align you with the person that is going to chase after Him with you. And that is the most beautiful picture I can think of.
Ultimately, why would you date someone who you could not see yourself having a future with? Think about that for a minute… is there any reasonable explanation as to why you would give your heart over to someone for an extended amount of time, get close to, waste months or even years of your life if there wasn’t any purpose of staying with that person? I understand not every relationship works out, trust me, I’ve been in quite a few in my life so far. But if you know there isn’t a future with someone why would you waste not only your time, but their’s as well. That is time spent of you giving pieces of your heart to a person not meant to have them.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken- Ecclesiastes 4:12. A relationship that includes God in the center is going to withstand much more than giving into the worldly ideas of love and what “couple goals” says your relationship should look like.
My challenge to you: Keep your eyes on the Lord, notice the red flags when they are presented and don’t make excuses for a person that is less than you deserve. Do not settle under any circumstances. Know your worth and don’t waste your time on anyone who does not care for you in a way that does not exceed your expectations. Do not be discouraged. Every thing happens in God’s perfect timing. Remember always, a man worth your time, is always worth the wait.
Love for each and every one of you,