Worth the Wait

LADIES, this one is for you.

Don’t settle. Please don’t settle. To settle for someone that doesn’t deserve you is to do a complete injustice to yourself and an injustice to God, the one who created you perfect in His image, the one who created you specifically for another person that probably isn’t the boy you are chasing after at the moment. And I will tell you why…

1- If you find yourself having to basically beg for their attention, beg for their time to hang out with you, then it is time for you to leave. The relationship you are pursuing with that person is already in the wrong direction because most of us forget that YOU are the prize. If a boy is worth your time he will realize that and be pursuing you, not the other way around. He will want to give you his time, he will want to get to know you personally, and he will want to give you his attention. (his attention that should not be divided amongst 3 other girls at the same time)

2- A boy worth your time will get to know you. Let me clarify… getting to know you does not mean getting to know your body. If they are worth your time that will not be an expectation and that should not even be apart of their mindset if they genuinely care about you. They should know your heart, your fears, your dreams and desires, and your goals in life. The little things are so important because it’s a whole bunch of little things that make up a person. They should know your coffee order and what your favorite meal is. Your quirks and your pet peeves. Pay attention to the questions they are asking you, it will be your first signs of what they care about and what their intentions are.

3- Today’s world has taken the purity and intentionality out of DATING. Dating is now “talking”… and to be completely blunt, no one knows what the heck “talking” even means. Ask around to a few people and I guarantee each one of them will have a different definition. Everyone is afraid of commitment… and sometimes it is for reasons like you don’t want your heart broken again. But more times than not I’ve realized people are scared of commitment because they are scared to lose the attention of others. They actually have the responsibility of someone else’s heart now and unfortunately it is hard for some people to actually care about someone other than themselves.

A boy worth your time is worth the wait.

 I’ve told this to so many people and will continue to stand by the idea that a boy does not truly know how to love you the way you deserve unless they know AND have experienced the love of Christ for themselves.

However, this goes both ways. As easy as it is to put all the blame on the boys, girls are just as much at fault. Including me. It is up to us to know our worth, have expectations, and to not settle for anything less than what God tells us we deserve.

Relationships are not something to be taken lightly. I have learned countless amounts of lessons from past relationships and continue to learn and grow in my current one. One specific realization that changed everything for me was that as women, if we are searching for a relationship and long for our “soul mate” then it is our responsibility to prepare our hearts for that person. Keep the mindset that when you are chasing after God as hard as you can, he will align you with the person that is going to chase after Him with you. And that is the most beautiful picture I can think of.

Ultimately, why would you date someone who you could not see yourself having a future with? Think about that for a minute… is there any reasonable explanation as to why you would give your heart over to someone for an extended amount of time, get close to, waste months or even years of your life if there wasn’t any purpose of staying with that person? I understand not every relationship works out, trust me, I’ve been in quite a few in my life so far. But if you know there isn’t a future with someone why would you waste not only your time, but their’s as well. That is time spent of you giving pieces of your heart to a person not meant to have them.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken- Ecclesiastes 4:12. A relationship that includes God in the center is going to withstand much more than giving into the worldly ideas of love and what “couple goals” says your relationship should look like.

My challenge to you: Keep your eyes on the Lord, notice the red flags when they are presented and don’t make excuses for a person that is less than you deserve. Do not settle under any circumstances. Know your worth and don’t waste your time on anyone who does not care for you in a way that does not exceed your expectations. Do not be discouraged. Every thing happens in God’s perfect timing. Remember always, a man worth your time, is always worth the wait.

Love for each and every one of you,

Madelyn

 

 

 

 

 

A day in the REAL life

My week consisted of my first test of the semester (that I happened to forget about until the morning of), a lot of homework, a lot of hours in the store working, a not so lovely confrontation with a professor, and not much sleep. All in all it was just one of those weeks. One of those weeks that happen to us all and probably more often than we would like.

Basically, it kind of looked like a lot of this:

 

 

and a little bit of this:

 

 

However, I noticed I portrayed myself on social media and in person more like this:

Which is not exactly an accurate representation of my life. If we are being completely honest my body was solely running on Dunkin Donuts (which isn’t that unusual and a whole other problem),  I hadn’t washed my hair for a few days so a hat was gonna have to do, and the same laundry that was done last week is still sitting in the basket unfolded and dug through every morning for an outfit (sorry mom, disappointing I know).

Last night when I finally was in  my bed, in the quiet and comfort of my little apartment room and was able to wash the week off me I started to think. In that moment I didn’t have to fake a smile, pretend that I had it all together, and stand up high like I usually make it seem like on Instagram and Facebook and to others in general. In just a few moments of silence spent with God, I was reminded of His grace, his unending love, and that He never gives us anything we cannot handle. He accepts me for exactly who I am, and meets me where I am at in that time of life.

Don’t let yourself forget that He walks with each and every one of us each step of the way. Through the valleys and the mountain tops, He is by our side, and when we are too weak to keep going he carries us. That’s a kind of love that none of us deserve, yet we each have. He is always faithful and we are never alone. Even on the bad days.

We are constantly and consistently offered forgiveness, grace, strength, and hope by the only one who matters. How awesome is that!

To the ones who were right there with me, having the worst week that seemed to go on forever and times you felt so alone: congratulations! You made it through. Maybe not as gracefully as you’d hope but you are blessed with another day, and another week to walk alongside your creator who never left you. You will learn more lessons, experience things, and live life as you were made to.

Keep your head up. Each and every one of you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you are beyond loved. I hope you have the best week ever!

Start each morning with a big cup of coffee, a whole lot of Jesus, and conquer your day. One step at a time.

Lots of love for each and every one of you.

Madelyn

 

 

 

I Once Too, Was Lost

There is this invisible line in life that is referenced a million times in all sorts of situations.

“Don’t cross the line Madelyn” I’m sure we’ve heard it too many times to count.

Well I’m here to tell you that I did cross that line. I ran full force across it, never looking back and then proceeded to classify it as “fun” and “fulfilling”. Thinking back on my past makes me either want to crawl in a hole and never show my face again or laugh at myself for once being so stupid. It’s a common feeling I’m sure majority of us share. Our pasts often have the misconception of having the ability to taunt us, control our future, and holding us in its grip so tightly we feel as though there is no chance of moving forward. Well guess what, it has none of that power. And never will. So do not live your life allowing it to.

Here are a few tips I’ve concluded to myself and that have also helped me move through the difficult times, past all the guilt, and accepting Jesus’ forgiveness and unconditional love into my heart.

1) A C C E P T A N C E

Yeah. At one point in my life I was really ugly. Not appearance necessarily (besides middle school those days were rough) but my heart was really messy. My sin had consumed me and made for a gross, UGLY situation of a person. I’m sure my sins look different from yours, as yours will look different from the next person’s but the results never change. They make for a mess that we are not capable of cleaning up on our own. ACCEPT the fact that you have messed up, made awful mistakes that you can’t take back, and be willing to realize that you are far from the great and wonderful being you like to portray yourself as. But also accept yourself for the person you can be. Remind yourself that you were fearfully and wonderfully made in a perfect image. You still and always will hold the characteristics God has blessed you with.

2) B R E A K   T H E   C H A I N S

There is this common misconception that we as humans can do whatever we want because in the end as long as we repent Jesus will forgive us. Which is completely true, He will forgive us. But why not accept that forgiveness now instead of later? Why allow yourself to purposely make more of a mess instead of cleaning it up now? There is a ripple effect to sin. This meaning that your sins never only have a direct effect on you, but the others surrounding you also. They are the ones that take the brunt of it all and are in the path of all the consequences you will be facing.

Be brave enough to step into His gift of Grace. In order to do that though you actually have to let go, and let God. Not half way, not bit my bit, but completely and fully dump all your messes on Him. He is the only one that can carry that for you and is offering you complete freedom from everything holding you back everyday. Break the chains holding you back from living the life you were created for. Take joy from your past not because it was perfect but because you are forgiven, you are redeemed, you are wiped clean of your faults and considered a new creation through Christ.

3) M O V E

When you hit rock bottom (which you will, fast and hard) run with that same force you crossed all the lines with back in the direction of His open arms. They are waiting for you. They are longing for your return… to hold you, comfort you, protect you, and forgive you.

Once you have accepted that forgiveness and love that will truly never go anywhere… move forward. Hand in hand with your creator. Go accomplish the impossible, experience the power of God moving in your life and never let that feeling go.

Move away from the guilt no matter what. I know it has its own way of creeping into your thoughts and making you feel unworthy of your newfound life. But you are more than worthy.

I was once extremely lost, in my own way. Each step I took on my own was five steps farther away from God. I was messy. I had deemed myself unworthy, unlovable, and hopeless. Then I turned around. I ran as hard as I possibly could back into His arms. Back unto his light and into His love and he renamed me. I was then, in that moment, deemed beautiful, lovely, more than worthy, endlessly loved, and capable of accomplishing things that I never even imagined.

My Challenge to y’all:

No matter your past or even what you may be struggling with in your present be brave enough to notice that life is way too much to handle on your own. Give it to God and let go. Most importantly, surround yourself with a community that will hold you accountable for your actions, lead you in the right direction, and even when you slip up they grab your hand and walk with you through it.

Start each day with a big cup of coffee, a whole lot of Jesus and take on the world. One step at a time.

Lots of love for each and every one of you,

Madelyn

 

My New Years Resolutions

Most people start planning their new years resolutions before the new year starts, but for me it took a little bit longer to contain my thoughts while self reflecting and deciding what I really needed to work on in order to grow as a person, friend, sister, girlfriend, and every other aspect of my life. I have finally come up with my top three resolutions that I believe many people could benefit from! So here’s my thoughts, my flaws, and me being completely transparent in the areas I’m not as good at being the best version of myself…

1) I N T E N T I O N A L

I know this is such a common phrase attempted by countless people and often failed by many as time goes on. But the importance is there begging to be taken in whole heartedly and practiced every day until it comes so naturally that it’s no longer a “resolution” but a lifestyle.

To those people that seem to contain every characteristic that makes you question your sanity, run in the opposite direction, or even worse… actually consider expressing exactly what you think about them to their face. **harsh** – stop hiding. Embrace those people and seek out the good in them. Everybody has it. Be brave enough to intentionally pursue their heart, pray for them, get to know them better, and more often than not a beautiful friendship will develop from it. It’s always better to be known as the person who is kind to everyone than the one with enemies, the gossiper, or the one who turns away from relationship opportunities.

To the relationships that we already consider to be apart of our lives forever. Don’t ever take advantage of those people. Never neglect those frienships because you are so sure they will never go anywhere. Let them know how much they are cherished, how blessed you are to have them, and always continue to grow together. No one is promised tomorrow. Overuse “I love you”, hug way too often, and no matter how tired you are, spend time with the ones that matter most to you. The friends that I have and have been around for years now, if they are still willing to put up with me, then they sure do deserve the world. This includes family. Yes, they are kinda stuck with you… but make that an enjoyable experience. They are the ones that really will never leave.

2) F E A R L E S S

Lately I have been really asking myself, what exactly am I so afraid of? Why am I allowing myself to carry around the weight of anxiety with me everyday? It sure does make for an unnecessary tiring lifestyle. For as long as I can remember, I have been scared. And honestly, I don’t even have any reasons why. This year I plan on letting go of the worry, the anxiety, and the fear. Handing all of that weight over to God, the one that is willing to bear all of that for me is the most freeing experience you can have. God created me perfect in His image. He has blessed me with talents and gifts that He expects me to use, not let go to waste. I have finally decided it is time to embrace those gifts, to use them for His glory, and to start chasing the life He has created for me. No more caring about what others will think of me, no more worrying about what others are doing and if it matches up with my lifestyle, no more anxiety about every move I make and instead, start accepting the confidence that comes along with a life with Christ.

3) K A I R O S

The one specific place in my life I am sure I have fallen short is seeking and noticing when God is moving in my life. I find myself more often than not giving myself the glory, not God.

That job I got that is giving me the experience I need in my future endeavors? Yeah that was because of me. All of those friends I’ve been blessed with? That must be because I’m just really cool and sometimes funny. That unexpected relationship that has blessed me so much? Must be because I’m such a nice and accepting person. Let me stop myself right there…. nothing I have ever done, nothing that I will ever do, will ever make me worthy of the gifts, opportunities, and experiences I have been given. None of my successes I’ve had in life, nothing gained, nothing given, was ever made to happen for my glory. But instead, for me to glorify God through my success, happiness, and relationships.

God is always in control. He has lined up opportunities in order for me to use the gifts he has blessed me with and put me in positions where He wants to use me in the lives of others and make a difference in the world under His name. He has given me, as well as taken away people throughout my life according to the season I am in and in order for me to learn, grow, and experience emotions that will only benefit me in the future. Nothing happens by chance. Everything is designed by the heart of God. He has laid out a path for you that will bring you undeserving, endless love. The only thing we must do in return is to acknowledge Him and give Him the glory. Pretty simple if you ask me. In my church growing up they taught us about Kairos moments. We were asked to identify times in our life or throughout our week when we had seen God move through us, for us, or around us. I promise, when you start seeking, these moments will become more noticeable and prominent than ever. What better time to start watching out for these moments than with the new year we are all facing ahead of us. New year, new situations, new Kairos moments- take that as the most exciting and rewarding adventure you could embark on.

My challenge to y’all:

No matter what your New Years resolutions are, stick to them. The obedient are always blessed. Smile at a stranger and hand out compliments like they are going out of style. Spend time with someone you normally wouldn’t. Ask them genuine questions and get to know them better. Call your family often and tell them you love them. Live fearlessly and accept confidence into your heart: it will change your life forever. Notice where God is moving in your hearts, minds, and souls. He never leaves you, nor forsakes you. Walk with him and give Him the glory.

Start off each morning with a big cup of coffee, a whole lot of Jesus, and conquer your day. One step at a time.

Lots of love for each and every one of you,

Madelyn